|
Sex Therapist 11/30/2004
A noted sex therapist realizes that people often lie about
the frequency of their encounters, so he devises a test
to tell for certain how often someone has sex.
<br>
To prove his theory, he fills up an auditorium with people,
and goes down the line, asking each person to smile. Using
the size of the person's smile, the therapist is able
to guess accurately until he comes to the ...
0 Comments, 45 Views,
30 Votes
,5.59 Score
|
|
Clothing sizes 11/25/2004
When a man shops for clothes, his primary objective is to
purchase clothes that fit on his particular body. A man
will try on a pair; when he finds a pair that fits, he buys
them. Most men do not spend alot of time fretting about the
specific size of thier pants. Many men wear jeans which
have the size printed on the back label, so that, if you're
standing behind the man in a supermarket ...
5 Comments, 90 Views,
54 Votes
,7.43 Score
|
|
A night out 11/24/2004
A man left work one Friday afternoon. Being payday, instead
of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend hunting
with the boys and spent his entire paycheck.
When he finally appeared at home, Sunday night, he was confronted
by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours
with a tirade befitting his actions.
Finally, his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to
him, ...
0 Comments, 201 Views,
49 Votes
,7.32 Score
|
|
Cyber Sex Conversation 11/22/2004
Online computer users often engage in what is affectionately
known as
"cybersex". Often the fantasies typed into
keyboards and shared through Internet phone lines get
pretty raunchy. However, as you'll see below, one
of the two cyber-surfers in the following transcript of
an online chat doesn't seem to quite get the point of
cyber sex. Then again, maybe he does...
<br>
...
0 Comments, 642 Views,
53 Votes
,8.97 Score
|
|
The Escaped Convict 11/20/2004
The Escaped Convict
<br>
A man escapes from American prison after serving time for
15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns
and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed
and ties him to a chair. While tying the girl to the bed he
gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes
into the bathroom.
<br>
Whilst he is in the ...
0 Comments, 68 Views,
24 Votes
,7.67 Score
|
|
Marraige Jokes 11/20/2004
1. Getting married is very much like going to a continental
restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then
when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered
that.
<br>
2. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor's
degree and the woman gets her master's.
<br>
<br>
3. A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the ...
1 Comments, 34 Views,
15 Votes
,5.27 Score
|
|
Results from sex research 11/20/2004
One year, a man recorded every day of the year and whether
he had sex with his wife or not. In the 365 days he conducted
his research, he only had sex 12 days. He recorded the reasons
why his wife couldn't have sex with him, and these are
the results:
<br>
1. The sheets are clean....................................54
times
2. It is too ...
1 Comments, 43 Views,
34 Votes
,7.28 Score
|
|
10 Reasons why men think masturbation is better than sex. 11/18/2004
10.It takes less work.
9.Our wallets don't have to suffer.
8.Don't have to snuggle afterwards.
7.It may be your hand but at least you don't
have to put up with your ex.
6.Its the best way we know of to have 'safe sex'.
5.Its something to do when we're bored.
4.We like to test the the "you'll put your eye
out doing that" saying.
3.It saves some of us from sleeping ...
1 Comments, 46 Views,
20 Votes
,2.74 Score
|
|
The Whales 11/17/2004
One day these two whales were swimming, a boy whale and his
girlfriend. They were swimming around, having a good time
when the boy whale sees this whaling vessel. "THAT'S
THE BOAT THAT KILLED MY DAY", he yells. "Here's
what we're going to do, we're going to take a deep
breath, swim under the boat, and blow really hard. The boat
will capsize and all the sailors will drown." Girl
whale ...
0 Comments, 39 Views,
20 Votes
,4.27 Score
|
|
She has soooo many names... 11/14/2004
I am a young, intelligent and sexually active guy here on
AdultFriendFinder. I've had the pleasure and priveledge to meet quite
a few good people and quite a few characters!!! One person
in particular comes to mind... Let's just call him
JOE. joe is a good friend whom I've now known for about
6 months on AdultFriendFinder. He is a very nice and intelligent individual!1
In fact he reminds me a lot of myself. But Joe ...
1 Comments, 46 Views,
21 Votes
,3.87 Score
|
|
Fun Ways to boot out a one-night stand 11/12/2004
Have fun....
<br>
Ladies: Fun Ways to Boot out a One-Night-Stand…
By: Tilly Rivers
<br>
This is just for fun… no offence intended…. A laugh ladies
and gentleman, some times sex is taken way too seriously.
<br>
1. Ask him what his ten-year plan is for your future …
2. Look him directly in the eye and ask him if he would like
to ...
0 Comments, 40 Views,
24 Votes
,5.29 Score
|
|
I will Survive-- with a twist... 11/7/2004
At first I was afraid, I was petrified,
When you said you had 10 inches, Lord I almost died! But I'd
spent so many years just waiting for a man that long, That
I grew strong, and I knew that I could take you on....
<br>
But there you are, another lie, I was ready for a big Mac and
you've bought me a French fry! I should have known that
it was bullshit, just a sad pathetic ...
2 Comments, 65 Views,
47 Votes
,8.17 Score
|
|
~A day in the life of Kit's Penis~ 11/2/2004
A Day In The Life Of KIT'S Penis....
<br>
6:15am
Wakeupwakeupwakeup! My God, will he ever wake up? Every
day it's the same:
I'm raring to go by dawn, ready to meet the world, or
at least the bathroom,
while Kit's face down and drooling on his pillow. Squishing
me to boot.
<br>
My only recourse is to swell up to full size, making my presence
felt. LIKE
THIS. MORNING ...
0 Comments, 40 Views,
32 Votes
,7.27 Score
|
|
Contemplating having ? 11/1/2004
Preparation for Parenthood
<br>
<br>
Preparation for parenthood is not just a matter of reading
books and decorating the spare room. Here are 12 simple
tests for the expectant parents to take to prepare themselves
for the real-life experience of being a mother or father.
<br>
1. Women: To prepare for maternity, put on a dressing gown
and stick a beanbag down the ...
1 Comments, 23 Views,
10 Votes
,3.58 Score
|
|
What is Key to successfull Relations? 10/26/2004
I have seen lot of breakups in my life. Some time what made
them to separate from each other. Few days ago they were
saying they could not live without each other and now they
are not even interested to talk. What was wrong? Where mistakes
has been made? How to avoid them? What is the key to successfull
relations? Share your thoughts and views with me so we all
can learn from them.
1 Comments, 30 Views,
20 Votes
|
|
SEXUAL ADDICTION 10/20/2004
LoL, I thought this was just too much and had to shar it with
all of you. I was searching sites and fell upon this one in
general. It is a site to help people who have a "Sexual
Addiction". This is a quote from the main page:
<br>
"Sexual addiction is rapidly becoming recognized
as a major social problem with similarities more well-known
to alcohol and drug addiction or ...
5 Comments, 87 Views,
65 Votes
,7.31 Score
|
|
Tell u one thing when they really want it 10/16/2004
I had this one girl that i was dating that told me that she
wanted to save herself, that she made a promise and didnt
want to break it....this promise was that she wouldnt have
vaginal sex until she was out of college...a ludicrous
promise but nonetheless...i couldnt get anything from
her...nothing at all...then finally she agreed to let
me fuck her anally...so her promise would remain ...
0 Comments, 37 Views,
34 Votes
,3.33 Score
|
|
Leaking ass 10/10/2004
My girlfriend started taking this medidine that was a fat blocker. She is a little over weight , at the most 20 pounds or so. Anyway this medicine is the nastiest thing that someone could ever take. Everywhere she would go fat would be leaking out her ass. The fat looked just like cooking oil but a darker redish color. She taught gymnastics and on one ocassion she was sitting on the floor in the ...
1 Comments, 45 Views,
30 Votes
,0.49 Score
|
|
On Fire 9/16/2004
There was this guy that I would occasionally hook up with.
One evening he asked me to come to his house for a lil fun.
He asked me to wear a black skirt with no panties. Of course,
I agreed. Now it was the middle of winter and freezing cold.
After sometime I arrived at his house freezing, and told
him that it probably would take a crow bar to pry my legs open.
He stood me in front of ...
1 Comments, 63 Views,
40 Votes
,7.23 Score
|
|
Blow Job 8/11/2004
Q: What is the best thing about a blow job?
<br>
A: The five minutes of silence.
1 Comments, 24 Views,
129 Votes
,6.83 Score
|
|
How to be a good wife/partner LOL 7/29/2004
Be a good wife. 1955 (keep reading it gets better)
Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to
have a delicious meal ready for his return from work. This
is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about
him and are concerned about his needs.
Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect
of a good meal (especially his favorite dish) is part ...
1 Comments, 67 Views,
37 Votes
,6.54 Score
|
|
Why You Might Not Deserve a Hot, Older Woman 7/20/2004
Men, are you looking for that hot, older woman experience?
Do you think that your young age is all that is necessary
to attract her? Are you finding out that things aren't
quite going your way in the seduction department? Well,
I'm here to help you boys with a list of tips and suggestions:
<br>
1. Come-on line that never works: "You remind me of
my mom and she's pretty cool." ...
0 Comments, 44 Views,
63 Votes
,7.98 Score
|
|
Impressing 7/5/2004
Impressing a woman:
-Wine her. Dine her. Call her. Hug her. Hold her. Surprise
her. Compliment her. Smile at her. Laugh with her. Cry withher.
Cuddle with her. Shop with her. give her jewelry. Buy her
flowers. Hold her hand. Write love letters to her. Write
poetry for her. Go to the end of the earth and back again for
her.
Impressing a man:
-Show up naked. Bring beer.
0 Comments, 19 Views,
49 Votes
,7.86 Score
|
|
A Tall Erotic Tail 6/8/2004
I'm traveling around the country visiting friends
and when I get to an old friends town. He graciouly invites
me to stay at his house. After an evening of drinking wine
and talking about old times. Leaving us both buzzed and
happy by the time we call it a night. I go to the bathroom and
when I come out he is standing in the hall. I smile. Goodnight,
I say. Goodnight, he says but neither of ...
0 Comments, 143 Views,
61 Votes
,3.89 Score
|
|
expedient marriage 5/9/2004
A man and a woman, who have never met before, find themselves
assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental
train.
Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing
a room, the two
are tired and fall asleep quickly...he in the upper bunk
and she in
the lower.
At 1:00 AM, he leans over and gently wakes the woman saying,
"Ma'am,
I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be ...
0 Comments, 42 Views,
72 Votes
,8.46 Score
|
|
REMEMBER TO TAKE IT OFF!!! 2/17/2004
My friend & I met these two guys from out of town, they
were only here for a short time building
a house.
We went to dinner, then to a local bar for drinks and dancing.
There wasn't a whole lot of dancing
going on, but there was groping under the table.
We drove back to their motel and my friend, with her date,
went upstairs. I stayed in the car
with my date for a while talking ...
1 Comments, 487 Views,
119 Votes
,7.09 Score
|
|
His and her road trips 2/17/2004
His & Hers Road Trips
HERS
1. Pulls off at wrong exit.
2. Opens window.
3. Asks directions of a knowledgeable police officer.
4. Arrives at destination presently.
<br>
HIS
1. Pulls off at wrong exit absolutely positive it's
the correct one.
2. Drives five miles into wilderness, still thinks he's
right.
3. Drives an extra five miles just in case.
4. Finally rolls ...
1 Comments, 170 Views,
43 Votes
,5.73 Score
|
|
RE: just sitting in the truck 1/12/2004
My wife left out a bunch of stuff! this is what happened.
we had been up for a day or two and it was in the middle of the
night and it was extremly hot so i was driving down the road
with just my shirt off. well we pulled into a truck stop i
put my shirt on not realizing i still had my seatbelt still
on. well i asked her to pick up some goodys from the store
i was going to go in to the ...
0 Comments, 77 Views,
69 Votes
,2.94 Score
|
|
3 types of sex in marriage 11/17/2003
When you are married, you have 3 types of sex.
<br>
Frist comes Kitchen Sex - you have sex everywhere. In the
kitchen, living room, anywhere BUT the bedroom.
<br>
Second, you have Bedroom Sex, since isn't bee a few
years and you might have , and the bedroom is the
only place you can have sex.
<br>
A few years after that, you start to have Hallway Sex. You ...
0 Comments, 25 Views,
102 Votes
,7.63 Score
|
|
my most embarrassing sexual moment 10/1/2003
When I was engaged to my exwife I was a member of a men's
pool league that played other local bars. Well we played
this on place called the Dutch Cellar and I shot the best
match I ever shot in my life. Well all my buddies started
buying me beer and shots. I drank about 13 beers and 4 shots
in two hours.
<br>
Well I shouldn't have DROVE home but I did. I thought
she would be in ...
0 Comments, 108 Views,
287 Votes
,7.26 Score
|
