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SEEKING FOR THE RIGHT PERSON TO RELOCATE AND START A NEW LIFE WITH 4/5/2011
am looking to meet someone who is honest, sweet, caring, attractive, someone
who is getting tired of the bar scene, someone who is looking
for something that can turn into a long term relationship
and possibly marriage.but 4months ago i met a guy on the
internet promising me that he loves me and his from Africa
and told me to come and visit him and i pay him a visit he take
me to a hotel and ...
0 Comments, 32 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score
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Infidelity Discovered 3/14/2011
A man was having an affair with another woman and his wife
found out about it, so she told him "If you don't
end it now I'm gonna go downtown to the post office where
you work and tell everyone I see that you're a no good
cheating filthy bum."
The husband replied "You're gonna go downtown
to the post office where I work and tell everyone you see
that I'm a no good cheating filthy bum?" ...
3 Comments, 443 Views,
19 Votes
,2.46 Score
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The Garden of Eden 3/14/2011
One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God, "Lord,
I have a problem!"
"What's the problem, Eve?"
"Lord, I know you've created me and have provided
this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals,
and that hilarious comedy snake, but I'm just not happy."
"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.
"Lord, I am lonely. And I'm sick to death of ...
2 Comments, 274 Views,
12 Votes
,3.33 Score
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Magic Frog 3/14/2011
A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into
the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found
a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release
me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes."
The woman freed the frog and the frog said, "Thank
you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to
your wishes-that whatever you wish for, your husband will ...
4 Comments, 240 Views,
9 Votes
,5.56 Score
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My Wife and I Were Happy For Twenty Years....... 3/7/2011
My wife and I were happy for twenty years...then we met.
. I just got back from a pleasure trip - I drove my wife to the
airport
. After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know,
I was a fool when I married you." She replied, "Yes
dear, but I was in love and didn't notice
. One woman says to another, "Isn't your wedding
ring on the wrong finger?" The other woman ...
1 Comments, 286 Views,
4 Votes
,2.47 Score
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the King 3/7/2011
The king was waving to his loyal subjects from the steps
of the palace when he spotted a beggar in the crowd who looked,
beneath the dirt and rags, amazingly like his royal self.
He had a guard bring the beggar to him and the crowd was likewise
struck by the remarkable resemblance. The king was amused,
for he knew that the king before him had a well-deserved
reputation as a ladies' man, as did he ...
1 Comments, 172 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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Red Flags and warning signs.... 3/7/2011
Red flags and warning sign. Is this you because I look for
these. If your new in town and ask me where the Methadone Clinic
is.........Warning
If the police already know your description....... Warning
If you know the county jail system better than the sheriff.....warning
To date somebody. If you have to get cleared by CPS or a Judge.........Warning
I know we ...
1 Comments, 48 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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Free Tattoo 3/7/2011
A man walks into a tattoo parlor and says he would like a $100
dollar bill on his dick. Well the tattoo artist laughs and
says "I'll do it for free if you can give me one
good reason for it."
The guy thinks for a second and says. "Well one, I like
to keep my money in my pants, two I like to watch my money grow,
and three I want to see how fast my wife can blow a $100.
1 Comments, 202 Views,
8 Votes
,4.17 Score
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Just Try to be Strong 3/7/2011
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years.
He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds
a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while
tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her
neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's
in there, the husband tells his wife:
"Listen, this guy's an ...
3 Comments, 225 Views,
12 Votes
,5.63 Score
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Off to Hawaii 3/7/2011
There was a couple who were big over-spenders. They always
dreamed to spend holidays in Hawaii, but were never able
to save any money to do so. One day they came up with an idea--each
time they had sex, they would put $20.00 bill into a piggy
bank.
They bought the piggy, and followed that procedure for
about a year. After that time, they decided that there was
enough money for their ...
1 Comments, 144 Views,
0 Votes
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'reyan George" captured! 2/25/2011
recently i had the rare learning opportunity to deal with
a professional con artist on AdultFriendFinder.com.
I received a email from a lady naming herself reyan George
who only had one photo on her account. she quickly started
with a story about how she was looking for love and cherished
love etc. right away i knew something was up because it seemed
like it was a letter that was sent to ...
0 Comments, 150 Views,
3 Votes
,1.47 Score
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Mrs. Boudreaux 2/25/2011
One night, a torrential rain soaked Southern Louisiana;
the next morning the resulting floodwaters came up about
6 feet into most of the homes there.
Mrs. Boudreaux was sitting on her roof with her neighbor,
Mrs.Thibodeaux, waiting for help to come. Mrs. Thibodeaux
noticed a baseball cap, floating near the house.
Then she saw it float far out into the front yard, then float
back ...
3 Comments, 181 Views,
4 Votes
,2.47 Score
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Abstinance 2/18/2011
Three couples went in to see the minister to see how to become
members of his church. The minister said that they would
have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and
tell him how it went. The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle
aged and the final couple was newlywed.
Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the minister.
The retired couple said it ...
3 Comments, 172 Views,
7 Votes
,2.79 Score
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Sexual Desire Enhancement 2/18/2011
Doc, you've gotta help me... my wife just isn't
interested in sex anymore. Haven't you got a pill or something I can give her?"
"Look, I can't prescribe..." "Doc, we've been friends for years. Have you
ever seen me this upset? I am desperate! I can't think; I can't concentrate;
my life is going utterly to Hell! You've got to help me." The doctor opens his desk drawer and removes a small bottle
of ...
3 Comments, 180 Views,
5 Votes
,2.82 Score
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His and Her Diary 2/17/2011
Her Diary:
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made
plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends
all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but
he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested
that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much. I asked
him ...
3 Comments, 179 Views,
7 Votes
,3.55 Score
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reincarnation 2/16/2011
Jason came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking
drunk (as he often did) and crept into bed beside his wife
who was already asleep.
He gave his wife a peck on the cheek and fell asleep. When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of
his bed wearing a long flowing white robe. “Who the hell are you?” Demanded Jason, “and what
are you doing in my bedroom?”. ...
1 Comments, 151 Views,
5 Votes
,3.14 Score
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the Portrait 2/14/2011
Mrs. Johnson decided to have her own portrait painted by
a very famous artist. She told the artist, "Paint
me with 3-carat diamond earrings, a large diamond necklace,
glimmering emerald bracelets, and a beautiful red ruby
pendant." "But ma'am, you are not wearing any of those things."
"I know, " said Mrs. Johnson. "My health
is not good, and my husband is having an affair with his secretary.
When ...
1 Comments, 122 Views,
5 Votes
,3.14 Score
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the Farmer and His Wife 2/6/2011
A farmer is lying in bed with his wife when he turns to her
grabs her tits and says "Honey if you could get milk
out of these we could sell the cow". Then he grabs her
pussy and says "Honey if you could get eggs out of here
we could sell the chickens". She turns to him smiles, grabs
his dick and says "Honey if you could get this up I could
get rid of your brother
1 Comments, 220 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
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the Bus Ride 1/27/2011
An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with
the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered
to the driver, I have a dead pussy.
The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and
said, "Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common.
1 Comments, 140 Views,
5 Votes
,2.49 Score
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the in-laws 1/25/2011
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not
saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of
them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the
husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep, " the wife replied, "in-laws."
2 Comments, 172 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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expectations 1/24/2011
I've been on this site now on and off for several years.
I've had a lot of fun and I've enjoy meeting some
really wonderful people. I also been witness to some of
the absolutely most unrealistic expectations and narcissus
behavior imaginable. This always makes me smile.
The idea that someone using this site is someway more moral
than someone else is the height of stupidity, not ...
1 Comments, 58 Views,
3 Votes
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dont do it ! 1/23/2011
A blonde who suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her goes
out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly,
opens the door, and, sure enough, finds him naked in the
arms of a redhead. Well, now she’s angry. She opens her
purse and takes out the gun. But as she does so, she is overcome
with grief and points the gun at her own head.
The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don’t do ...
1 Comments, 175 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
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Pizza Pizza 1/22/2011
My wife, on her way home, picked up a $5 pizza for dinner.
As we are eating it she fell on the floor and started having
convulsions. I grabbed and fumbled with the phone as I called
the 911 dispatch. As I knelt and attended to her the paramedic
unit arrived and started checking her out. They told me
not to be worried and that everything would be fine. She
was just having "Little Seizures."
1 Comments, 171 Views,
1 Votes
,3.70 Score
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the bank hostages 1/22/2011
This guy robs a bank and takes hostages.
He asks one of the hostage, "Did you see me rob the bank?"
The hostage answers, "Yes."
The crook, promptly shoots him.
Then he asks the another hostage the same question, "Did
you see me rob the bank?"
The hostage answers, "No, but my wife over there did."
1 Comments, 125 Views,
0 Votes
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the sex talk 1/16/2011
In a small town, an elderly couple had been dating each other
for a long time.
At the urging of their friends, they decided it was finally
time for marriage.
Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long
conversation regarding how their marriage might work.
They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on.
Finally, the old gentleman decided ...
1 Comments, 152 Views,
8 Votes
,2.55 Score
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the beer drinker 1/16/2011
A man walks in the door after a day at the office to find his
wife crying at the kitchen table. Whats wrong? he asks.
I went to the store today, and a horrible man looked up my
skirt. He said, ˜Id like to fill that with beer and drink
it, she sobs. I wish youd been there to kick his ass.
Listen, honey, Ive repeatedly told you to wear panties
every day, replies the husband. ...
1 Comments, 186 Views,
8 Votes
,3.01 Score
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at dinner 1/16/2011
A man and a beautiful woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant.
Their waitress (taking another order at a table a few paces away)
suddenly noticed that the man was slowing sliding down his chair
and under the table, but the woman acted unconcerned.
The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his
chair and out of sight under the table.
Still, the woman dining ...
1 Comments, 139 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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show me the money 1/16/2011
A couple was having a discussion about what to see and do
now that they were safely in Florida on their honeymoon.
Trying to assert himself rite off the bat, he exploded,
"If it weren't for my money, we wouldn't
be here at all!" The wife replied, "My dear,
if it weren't for your money, not only would we not be
in Florida, we wouldn't be on a honeymoon, nor would
there be any "we" in the first ...
1 Comments, 107 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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first time swallowing 1/8/2011
ill never forget the time i had this hot girl swallow for
me. the look on her face was priceless. so innocent but so
confused LOL.
0 Comments, 181 Views,
0 Votes
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Size Doesn't Matter 1/1/2011
A couple had been dating for about a month, but the guy was
afraid to make any sexual advances because of his tiny organ.
Finally one evening, he gets up his courage, and takes her
to lovers' lane. While they are making out, he opens
his zipper and places her hand on his penis.
"Stop! How dare you!" the girl says. "You
know I don't smoke."
1 Comments, 304 Views,
7 Votes
,3.80 Score
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