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Give me one 11/12/2018
This guy is married and his wife knows he is a bit of a cranky
pants. They go out together on a night out. They go to the
restaurant and order a nice meal. Midway through he calls
the waiter and says, "Is there any such thing as a decent
glass of wine to go with this dinner, if so give me one."
Then they go to a pub where he calls to the barman, "Is
there any such thing as pints of ...
1 Comments, 63 Views,
10 Votes
,2.99 Score
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Southern girls 11/9/2018
Q ... Do you know why there are so few virgins in the south
? <br><br>
. A ... Because it takes so long to say "Quiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit."
1 Comments, 22 Views,
12 Votes
,1.92 Score
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erotic vs. kinky 11/5/2018
What is the difference between erotic and kinky? <br><br>
Erotic is using a feather. Kinky is using the whole chicken.
2 Comments, 12 Views,
8 Votes
,4.17 Score
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Getting a new Bra 10/29/2018
A flat chested young woman goes out looking for a new bra
one day. <br><br>
She tries shop after shop trying to find a size 28A yet she
can't get one anywhere. Finally, in desperation, she tries her fortunes in a little
unmentionables shop run by a woman who's hard of hearing.
<br><br>
"Have you got anything in size 28A?" asks the
young woman. ...
1 Comments, 97 Views,
16 Votes
,2.69 Score
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wife 10/27/2018
What do you call a woman with no clit?? <br><br>
<br><br>
........ <br><br>
Nothing she won't cum anyway!! lol
0 Comments, 31 Views,
15 Votes
,3.28 Score
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Hillbilly 10/27/2018
We all know why the chicken crossed the road.. Why did the hillbilly cross the road??? <br><br>
<br><br>
<br><br>
. Cause his dick was stuck in the chicken!!!
1 Comments, 24 Views,
11 Votes
,2.05 Score
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What is the cheapest meat you can buy? 10/24/2018
Deer testicles. You get 2 under a buck.
1 Comments, 15 Views,
9 Votes
,2.57 Score
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Haloween Party 10/24/2018
A couple were invited to a swanky family masked fancy dress
Halloween party. The wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to
go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested,
but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin
and go to bed and there was no need for his good time to be spoiled
by not going. <br><br>
So he took his costume and away he went. ...
1 Comments, 66 Views,
7 Votes
,4.31 Score
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Joke 10/19/2018
Three tampons are standing outside liquor store. What
do they say to each other? “Nothing. They’re stuck up cunts.”
1 Comments, 17 Views,
10 Votes
,2.59 Score
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joke 10/19/2018
why are we all on here...it really a bit of a joke isn't
it?
2 Comments, 9 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score
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PHILOSOPHY 10/19/2018
Foolish man gives wife grand piano. Wise man gives wife upright organ. <br><br>
<br><br>
<br><br>
...
2 Comments, 14 Views,
7 Votes
,3.55 Score
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Harry and his wife 10/18/2018
Harry and his wife are having hard financial times, so they
decide that she’ll become a . She’s not quite
sure what to do, so Harry says, “Stand in front of that
bar and pick up a guy. Tell him that you charge a hundred bucks.
If you got a question, I’ll be parked around the corner.”
<br><br> She’s standing there for 5 minutes when a guy pulls up
and asks, “How much?” ...
1 Comments, 84 Views,
13 Votes
,4.65 Score
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Mr. Schwartz 10/18/2018
While examining the body of Mr. Schwartz, a mortician notices
that Schwartz has the largest penis he has ever seen. “I’m
sorry, Mr. Schwartz, ” says the mortician, “But I
can’t send you to be cremated with a tremendously huge
penis like this. It has to be saved for posterity.” <br><br>
The mortician removes the penis, places it in a jar and puts
the jar in his briefcase. ...
1 Comments, 69 Views,
10 Votes
,3.98 Score
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The Millionaire 10/14/2018
A man asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to an unusually
attractive woman sitting alone at a table in a cozy little
restaurant. <br><br>
The waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, 'This
is from the gentleman who is seated over there.'....
and indicated the sender with a nod of his head. <br><br>
She stared at the wine coolly for a few seconds, not ...
1 Comments, 94 Views,
10 Votes
,4.38 Score
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Closed..Oob 10/13/2018
What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? Beat it. We’re closed.
3 Comments, 30 Views,
15 Votes
,4.05 Score
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Senior Night 10/7/2018
It was entertainment night at the senior citizens center.
<br><br>
After the community sing-along led by Alice at the piano,
it was time for the star of the show, Claude the Hypnotist!
Claude explained that he was going to put the whole audience
into a trance. “Yes, each and every one of you and all at
the same time” said Claude. <br><br>
The excited chatter dropped ...
0 Comments, 82 Views,
12 Votes
,2.45 Score
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Pussy lips 10/7/2018
After years of frequent sex, a Blonde noticed that her pussy
lips were elongated and hung down from her body. This embarrased
her greatly, so she went to see a surgeon to see if it could
be fixed. The surgeon said "No problem, we fix this
all the time". The blonde said "OK, lets do it,
but I am very embarrased about this so you can't tell
a soul about it. No one can ...
1 Comments, 90 Views,
12 Votes
,3.33 Score
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Inside 10/6/2018
Three men are travelling through the desert when their
single camel dies. They walk for a while but then it becomes
night. Desperate for shelter, suddenly they stumble across
a tent and inside is three beautiful women. The men were
not only lost but horny too so they begin to have sex with
the women. But the tent belongs to a prince and these three
women were his wives so he is very angry when he ...
0 Comments, 79 Views,
12 Votes
,2.80 Score
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Quickie 10/3/2018
A male Blonde goes to a cafe for breakfast and looks at the
menu. Soon a very cute waitress comes up and says "What
would you like today sir?" He said "A quickie".
Disgusted , she walks away. But in a few minutes she calms
down and trys again. But he again says he would like a quickie.
This time she slaps his face and walks away. Soon the man
at the next table says ...
1 Comments, 44 Views,
4 Votes
,3.63 Score
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Tax Time 10/1/2018
A woman walks into an accountant's office and tells
him that she needs to file her taxes. <br><br>
The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll
need to ask you a few uestions." He gets her name, address,
Social security number, etc. and then asks, "What's
your occupation?" <br><br> "I'm a Lady of the night, " she says. ...
1 Comments, 50 Views,
4 Votes
,3.25 Score
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Kevin had shingles. 9/28/2018
Those of us who spend much time in a doctor's office
should appreciate this! Doesn't it seem more and more
that physicians are running their practices like an assembly
line? <br><br>
Here's what happened to Kevin: <br><br>
Kevin walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist
asked him what he had. Kevin said: 'Shingles.'
So, she wrote down his ...
1 Comments, 45 Views,
7 Votes
,2.79 Score
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Peggy Sue 9/27/2018
It was a hot Saturday evening in the summer of 1958 and Fred
had a date with Peggy Sue. He arrived at her house and rang
the bell. <br><br> "Oh, come on in!" Peggy Sue's mother said
as she welcomed Fred in."So, what are you and Peggy
planning to do tonight?" she asked. <br><br>
"Oh, probably catch a movie, and then maybe grab a
bite to eat at ...
1 Comments, 70 Views,
7 Votes
,3.30 Score
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Breakfast Order 9/27/2018
An old man goes into Sarasota’s Broken Egg restaurant
and is seated. All the waitresses are gorgeous. A particularly
voluptuous waitress, wearing a very short skirt and legs
that won’t quit, came to his table and asked if he was ready
to order. "What would you like, sir?” <br><br>
He looks at the menu and then scans her beautiful frame top
to bottom, and answers, ...
2 Comments, 62 Views,
9 Votes
,3.00 Score
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A young woman goes to a bar 9/24/2018
A young woman goes to a bar on Saturday night and ends up drinking
with 5 guys who are roomates. When the bar closed they wwere
all having so much fun that the young men asks her to join
them. As the night wore on she ended up fucking each guy at
least 3 times. So on Sunday morning, she goes to mass and
then confession. She said "Father I have sinned".
What did you do the priest ...
4 Comments, 83 Views,
13 Votes
,3.81 Score
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Lights out 9/21/2018
Joes and Sue had been married for 30 years, and in those 30
years, they always left the lights off when having sex.
He was embarrassed and scared that he couldn't please
her, so he always used a big dildo on her. All these years
she had no clue. One day, she decided to reach over and flip
the light switch on and saw that he was using a dildo. She
said "I knew it, Joe please explain the ...
1 Comments, 66 Views,
13 Votes
,3.65 Score
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Question... 9/19/2018
If we say that guys that are gay but haven't admitted
it are "in the closet, " can we say that lesbians
who have yet to admit it are in the "liquor cabinet?"
1 Comments, 5 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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Huge joke 9/17/2018
Your mom.. also some points
2 Comments, 21 Views,
5 Votes
,3.14 Score
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A trip to the market. 9/17/2018
It was a cool and rainy day but still I had to make a trip to
the market for some thing to eat for the next few days. As
I entered the super market I noticed on the stand right in
the door way some large plastic sleeves. I knew immediately
what they were but couldn't decide why they were in
that location. Sooo I asked the clerk who was working near
by why the huge condoms were at the door ...
1 Comments, 56 Views,
5 Votes
,0.53 Score
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Limerick 9/16/2018
There was a young man from Kent.............Whose tool
was decidedly bent......................To save himself
trouble.......He put it in double......... And instead
of cumming he went
2 Comments, 15 Views,
6 Votes
,0.80 Score
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bad dating ad 9/13/2018
Male drinks only to excess. Seeking female to cook clean
and for sex. Must have own boat and motor. Please send photo
of boat and motor
2 Comments, 27 Views,
14 Votes
,1.54 Score
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